Dancing EVAs

< This little scene takes place right before the last fight with the 7th
angel, inside the cage.  NERV is about to launch EVA Units 1 and 2.  Asuka
and Shinji are still fighting about today's battle. >

Asuka:  Just remember the moves, baka.  Don't embarrass me in front
	of everyone!

Shinji:	Don't worry; if your last fight with the last angel is any
	indication, you won't need my help.

Asuka:	Hmmph!  Just don't get in my way!

Shinji:	Fine.  Remember, you won't be able to use your umbillical, so 
	don't waste time trying to show off and run out of power.

Asuka:	Me!?!  As I recall, you're the one who's always running out
	of power, dumkopf!  You wouldn't be half the pilot you are
	without your mommy stuck in your EVA to bail you out!

Shinji:	YOU-YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT MY MOTHER!!!!!

Misato:	Both of you, CUT IT OUT!!!!  We have more important things to 
	worry about.  Like that angel outside that wants to rip you 
	both limb from limb!

Asuka:  Oh, all right...

Misato:	Now remember, you'll only have about 60 seconds of power and
	no more.  Rei will be standing by in her convieniently
	refurbished Unit-00.  Doesn't it look spiffy in its new blue
	paint job?  It's so much nicer than that ugly orange that 
	it started out-

Gendo:	Get on with it, Captain!

Misato:	*mutters*  Old fart...

Misato:	*shouting*  EVA LAUNCH!

*Power cables detach and the EVAs shoot up the launch path*

Asuka:	BANZAI!!!

*Asuka leaps into the air as the catapult crashes to a halt.  Shinji, 
however, has some problems...*

Shinji:	DAMMIT!  MY FOOT'S CAUGHT IN THE CATAPULT!!!!

Asuka:	Ferdaunt der idiot!

Shinji:	Never mind, just throw the damn baton!

*Shinji and Asuka both throw their batons at the angel simultaniously, 
cutting the angel in half*

Shinji:	*Pulling at his foot* C'mon, dammit!  Come free!  Misato!  We
	 need backup!

Misato:	Launch Rei now!  Rei, you'll complete the sequence.  Asuka, 
	on my mark charge and attack!  Try to drive it back together!

Asuka:	What!?!  You mean I have to dance with a GIRL!?!  Oh, This is
	soooo wrong on sooo many levels and-

Misato:	JUST DO IT!!!!!!

Asuka:	Oh, all right...

Misato:	Launch NOW!  Asuka, GO!

Asuka and Rei:  Right!

*Asuka begins her charge and Rei launches.  Just as Asuka reaches one
angel, Rei reaches the surface.  Both EVAs deliver a crushing uppercut
that forces the angels back into a single body, exposing their core.*

Shinji:	All right!  I'm free!  Let's go!!!

*Shinji frees his foot only to watch Rei and Asuka stomp the hell out 
of the angel*

Shinji: *sigh*  Never mind...

< Later, in the debriefing room, Asuka is screaming at Shinji while 
Misato and Rei look on >

Asuka:	What the hell were you doing out there you pathetic pilot!?!
	Here you go through all that training for this day and you go
	and get your foot caught in the damn catapult!

Shinji:	It's not my fault the catapult wasn't wide enough!  You're 
	just pissed off because Rei had to help you complete the
	mission!

Asuka:	I don't care one way or the other!  Besides, Wonderbitch had
	to come in and replace YOUR sorry ass anyway, so I-

Rei:	SHUT THE HELL UP, BOTH OF YOU!!!!!

*stunned silence*

Rei:	What?

Misato:	You talked!

Rei:	What of it?!

Shinji:	You never talked before...

Rei:	That's because I never had anything to say to you or that crazy
	bitch, Asuka!  But now that you've got me started, let's get
	a few things straight...

Misato:	It's going to be a long day...

Rei:	First of all, why can't you cut your father some slack?  He's
	only trying to bring is wife back from the dead, for Christ's
	sake!  Give him a break every once in a while instead of dissing
	him every chance you get!  And you, Asuka, Who died and made you
	queen bitch, huh?  You know that's the reason you always lose to
	me in the popularity polls!  And another thing, why do you have 
	torture Shinji so much!  We both know that you want to take him
	to some dark corner of the geofront and get him to screw your
	brains out, so give all this hostility a rest!  And while I'm 
	on the subject...